sunset

Last night I met a friend at Creamer's Field (bird refuge here in Fairbanks) for an evening stroll.  The night was lovely, the bugs were thick and just about mid-night the sunset was amazing.  

Like I said in my earlier post, "bed? eh, maybe later".  I usually regret my late nights the next morning but not so much to keep me from staying up the next night. 

may flowers

The choke cherry trees are blooming all over town.

  

They smell so nice and looks so lovely.

And I absolutely love to watch the petals float in the breeze. 

Seasonal Affective Disorder

So I self diagnosed myself with seasonal affective disorder back in December.  When the days were only a few short hours long, all I could think of was crawling back in bed.  But now that it never gets dark, I am having the opposite problem.  

I'm having trouble persuading myself to go to bed.  It's pretty ridiculous that at the age of 30 I'm having to force myself to get to bed at a reasonable hour.  On the bright side, even with significantly less sleep, I feel pretty great.  Yay for sunshine!

sooooooooo good

Way back in the fall, I decided to try my hand at baking bread.  I bought the bread bible and followed her detailed instructions with strict obedience.  My bread was not the light and fluffy loaves that the book promised and while edible and rather tasty, not worth the effort.  Learning to bake really good bread remains on my to do list - the long list, the list of things to do this decade, not this week. 

My goal is fueled by my picky palate.  I really like good bread but it is so hard to find.  One of the things that I hate most about moving is finding decent bread in a new town.  I generally don't venture any farther than the local grocery stores but have found through trial and error that there is a lot of lousy bread on the shelves.  My ideal loaf would be 100% whole grain (no white flour), tasty and the perfect balance of chewy and airy.

Well, I found it.  I found my ideal loaf.  And I can't tell you how happy I am to have really good bread every morning.  It is made by a bakery in Canada called Silver Hills and get this it is flourless.  That's right, it's not made of flour at all.  I didn't really understand how this could be so I did a little research.  Apparently, they start with whole grains (unprocessed kernels of wheat, oats etc.), and then they soak the kernels until they sprout, and then they mash them.  Voila! no flour necessary! They make a lot of different varieties using different combinations of grains and seeds but my very favorite is kamut.  Kamut is the kind of wheat that the ancient Egyptians grew - who knew, right?

From their website I have learned that their bread is only sold in the west coast states and BC.  So if you happen to live in one of these blessed states and you wanna try some mind blowingly good bread - I suggest you look for this and try it.  Am I obsessed? I don't think so, just really really happy to have found good bread.

Interested in trying sprouted bread but you can't find Silver Hills bread? Try Ezekiel Bread (sometimes in the freezer section).  It is also sprouted and quite good.  I especially like their raisin bread.

inspired; or hoping to become so

I was blog surfing - jumping from blog to blog like tv channels when I came across a quote that gave me pause.  

"Instead of being jealous of your peers, be inspired by what they do."  -Serge Normant

Mr. Normant is a hair stylist.  And with a little googling I have learned that he is THE HAIR STYLIST to the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker and Julia Roberts.  As someone who usually resorts to cutting her own hair and has actually only paid for a hair cut a handful of times in her life, I can honestly say I haven't much personal experience with hair stylists. (By the way, I'm having a very good hair day today and there is indeed something to be said for good hair - possibly invaluable.)  I picture Mr. Normant making this statement in response to one of diva client's wild rant about their lousy, uber fabulous, celebrity life - and it makes me chuckle.

I like this statement because it is good advice.  Life is full of disappointments and surprises.  Often things just don't work out as planned.  And sometimes I look around, see other people enjoying the sort of life that I'd wished for and I get jealous.  The green eyed monster is often accompanied by it's good pal bitterness.  And before long, I'm hosting a 9-course pity party for 1.    

Don't get me wrong I want to be happy for my friends and family members, but sometimes it's hard to be happy for someone when I'm not happy myself.  I acknowledge that this is a myopic and self centered perspective.  Because, if I step away from my personal pity party for bit, it's not hard to see that I am enormously blessed and that another's success or good fortune in no way diminishes my own.    

But it can be really difficult to dismiss these emotions all together - I really like Mr. Normant's suggestion to refocus jealous energy into something positive, inspiration.  It's all a matter of perspective.  And by changing the way I think about things I can more clearly see the good in my own life as well as the lives of those I love. 

Who couldn't use a little more inspiration in their life.  I thrive on inspiration.  While logic guides much of what I do, my logic continually fails me and I am force to lean on seek out inspiration.  I am continually inspired by the example of others, their wisdom and words of encouragement.  Most especially, I receive divine inspiration from my Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost.  I seek direction from my Heavenly Father daily.  Sometimes it comes through strokes of genius and othertimes through external factors.  

Sometimes the inspiration just won't come.  I see only the obstacle between me and my dreams.  It can feel so hopeless and frustrating.  Elder Christofferson counseled that at such times, prayers of gratitude yield inspiration.  Which I believe is sage advice.  I can't expect to receive answers unless I'm ready to recognize them.  When I am grateful for what I have, my perspectives shifts from what I want to what I have.  By recognizing what I have, I am reminded that God keeps his promises; and trusting in Him, I am empowered to negotiate the terrain before me with confidence.  

So many things in life come down to choices.  I hadn't ever thought that I could choose to be inspired but maybe I can.  So... what if I gave up on jealousy and disappointment, and chose instead to be inspired.  

Wish me luck!