Friday, April 29, 2011

tone

I just got into a surprisingly ugly debate with a complete stranger on Facebook.  It ended with name calling and while I'm not taking it personally, I am both saddened and amused by the way this man misconstrued what I thought were relevant, thoughtful and honest comments about a subject that I am intimately connected - single members of the LDS church, specifically single women.  

http://xkcd.com/386/
I don't know why I get caught up in these things - I know that I should just let it go, delete my comments and move on but something deep inside me just won't let it go.  

If there is anything I learned from this, it is that I need to watch my tone.  This man I've never met twisted everything I said, insulted me and called me bitchy.  While he's an argumentative idiot who doesn't know what he's talking about and I reserve the right to be bitchy when the situation calls for it, bitchy was not my intended tone of my comments.  I actually went to great lengths to keep my comments positive and hopeful while pointing out some issues I have observed.  I may have failed on that front and it made me think about this blog.  I try to be honest here, but I don't want it to be a place of bitterness.  I try to balance my frustration with hope.  And if I sometimes read a little bitchy, well, we can't all be sugar and spice all the time.

 

4 comments:

  1. AND you don't HAVE to be sugar and spice ALL the time. YOu have every right to be bitchy, and so do I as a matter of fact. But in this type of moment I would breath deeply and simply move on.

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  2. Ugh. I feel you. I had a very similar experience this week. The internet is great, but tragically, all too often people misinterpret well-intended remarks. Hate that. If it's any consolation I LOVE that you have an opinion and are real. Deep breaths, watch some royal wedding and keep being fabulous!

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  3. Ahh Maggie -- you have read too many of my blog posts and facebook commentary to know that I have the same issues at time. I don't think you have anything to worry about -- those who know you - know you and you have nothing to worry about. For those who don't know you -- well they can take a flying leap if they want to take what you have said and misconstrue it:)

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  4. Maggie - I had to go snoop on your facebook to see the conversation -- no where did you come across bitchy. Seriously, what does that man know about being a single woman - I concur with you in every way. I had three degrees and men where turned off by it -- and I also found that married women where turned off by it too -- I got questions all the time, about when and why I wasn't married - if pursuing an education where more important than marriage and family. I would tell them that while marriage and family where plan A -- plan B better be good because I wasn't going to be a single woman stuck working a mediocre job -- and plan C marriage fails or spouse dies etc. I would be in a much better position than they would be to support children. Anyhow there's my two cents -- I wish I could have been involved in that commentary.

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