Monday, October 17, 2011

marriage talk

Yesterday was my ward's ward conference. And the stake president took the opportunity to remind us all of the blessings of marriage, that we as singles are incomplete. He did so gently, lovingly and tactfully but it's never an easy thing to hear. Do the wicked take the truth to be hard? Most certainly. But that's only part of it.

As someone who is single long past any time that I would have thought prudent or opportune, I am well aware of the void in my life. The desire is always with me. I could get lost in it's depth and breadth - exploring it's varied qualities, searching out the bounds. I am drawn to it, like a girl in a horror film drawn to a door way, unable to hear the music that warns of the danger that awaits her. I peer across the threshold into this space where unanswerable questions and missed opportunities loom. But don't allow myself to venture far into the deep for fear that I might loose my way and find myself trapped in the void.

I try to keep that door closed. But the door is flimsy, the latch unsound - it is prone to swinging wide with any jostle, nudge or strong wind.

A bit disheveled, I close the door again and go about my life.

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