I sat next to the boy, or should I say man, almost by accident - we make eye contact as I take the seat next to him. The chairs are close together and he nudges me, whispers something and my heart begins to swell. It's only small talk but In that moment his heart and mine are inexplicably connected. I can't focus on anything that is happening arround me - I am fixated on the man next to me.
He leans forward and I am consumed by desire to run my fingers across his shoulders. I fight the urge staring at my hands folded in my lap. I don't know what's happened but in that moment I am his. He whispers something and I lean in closer, wishingwishingwishing I could just place my head upon his strong shoulder, to collapse into him and surrender the emotional will that holds me firmly together.
But I wait - propriety and fear ultimately preventing me from acting on my simple desires. After all, it's probably just in my head. I doubt that he felt anything at all. These all consuming emotions were likely only hormones - loathsome hormones - hormones that lead me to question my own sanity.
But I wait - propriety and fear ultimately preventing me from acting on my simple desires. After all, it's probably just in my head. I doubt that he felt anything at all. These all consuming emotions were likely only hormones - loathsome hormones - hormones that lead me to question my own sanity.
There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.
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